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Wedding Flowers (but not for me)

 Five a.m. and the household is sleeping so I cannot shove my way out through the many broken doors and stand in the full moonlight, as my lonely soul craves to do.  It is early, too early, but I woke up an hour ago, unable to stop the tears streaming down my face because I realized, I am an indoor cat, staring longingly at the outside world.  I can only sit on my catio, smelling the outside air through the filter of the louvered windows, tinged with mildew and rust.  And I can only do it alone, in the small hours of the morning.

I crave to open the windows every night, give up the comfort of the locked and barred porch door, lay on the couch and watch the moon rolling across the sky, without questions or consternation.

To watch the sun rise on another day is a blessing.  So why then, is my heart so heavy?


So why then, do I feel like the wedding I am anticipated to have next is a burden, and not a blessing?

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