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Sprinting through Cornfields

 Its the time of year where the corn, which seemed so stunted, suddenly rallies and seems to grow by feet overnight.  A week of rainstorms can be the difference between a sere baked field and a lush vista of green, too high to see the houses set back from the road, laid bare by the dry season.

My July is that cornfield, suddenly catching its stride, giving hope for a good harvest where before, there was nothing but harrowed rows.  I have done so many things which seemed impossible before, leaving me exhausted and elated, all tied up in one prayerful hope that everything will turn out alright at the end.

So far, everything has turned out alright.  The offer on the house was accepted, after some compromise.  The home inspection was a weight off my shoulders.  Some negotiation remains, as expected, but surprisingly, I have managed to materialize everything I need to come out of this financially stable and with the small means I need to get through the fall and winter, to come back stronger.  This seems like its going to work out; I allow myself a small meal of hope and joy in writing this down.

Sometimes I wonder, when does my luck run out?  I keep taking chances and feeling the world spin beneath my feet to put me in the right place at the right time.  I don't think I've been a good enough person in my life, to deserve all of the luck I have been gifted.


I was driving through the cornfields today, on my way to the place I hope to call home in a mere month, chatting nervously to myself, practicing being charming and confidant enough that I could fool them all for one more season.  Thinking how it felt like home, driving those roads.  I started laughing, and realized,

I feel happy right now.  Happy and hopeful.

I was looking forward to the meeting at the house, stepping forward boldly, not anxious and trying to shrink from the responsibility.  How unlike me.

Maybe I truly am turning over a new leaf, after so long of thinking I could not change.

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